India, We The People: We Can Accept Pissing in Public but Not Kissing in Public

Few weeks back I’ve had a very good conversation with Eshita. Eshita is one of rare girl having THAT Rare combo, (Ok m not writing more). She used to participate in various social events and discussion panels as an active intellectual Indian citizen.  She is very well abreast with all the happenings in our society, and a big News Buff like me, and really very concerned about the happenings in our surroundings. And definitely have some fair and honest thoughts and vision on them.

Though we chat in very light mood and started almost from normal banter but after some time I realize what she was saying made a good sense. I could scribe only about the caonverstaion here, but then it wd hold almost all of  my points only there, making it little bit biased, so I thought to publish the entire conversation in almost its raw form. Audience is free to take their decision, and I’d love to see a healthy discussion here in the panel over the issue.

In fact it was group Conversation, Gaurav also participated in the conversation and actively worked as catalyst,

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Me:[12:22 AM]: ohh isne humare Pyaar ka

Me:[12:22 AM]: Public Demo nahi dkeha shayd Orkut pe

Eshita : : public demonstration of pyar!!!

Me:[12:26 AM]: PDA

Eshita : : OMG

Me:it was up on Orkut

Eshita : : no no…not good

Me : for almost one and half month

Me: no we censored some

Eshita : : u know kissing in public can attract a fine of 500 INR…

Eshita : : i know

Me: we censored some of them

Eshita : :

Me:[12:27 AM]: but that i was nt aware of

Me:[12:27 AM]: 500INR

Eshita : : how do u know abt PDA?

Me: y?

Eshita : : gauri to sharma rahi hai….

Me:[12:27 AM]: PDA mein kya hai

Me:[12:28 AM]: but ye 500 INR kai fine ka kya chakkar hai

Eshita : : police can fine u for indecency….

Me:[12:28 AM]: ye kab hua?

Me:[12:28 AM]: i dnt think so…

Me:[12:29 AM]: if there is any such rule

Eshita : : u think wrongly my frnd…

Me:[12:29 AM]:i m nt aware of

Me:[12:30 AM]: rmember that

Eshita : : now u know na

Me:[12:30 AM]: Richard Gere + Shilpa shetty event

Eshita : : aur waise b PDA mat kiya karo

Me:[12:30 AM]: no such law ma’am

Me:[12:31 AM]: thts wrong

Eshita : : there is

Me:[12:31 AM]: haan PDA is nt gud for ur own

Eshita : : there ws a court case against them

Me:[12:31 AM]: bcos we as ppl

Eshita : : if u hv forgotten…

Me:[12:31 AM]: that come in thr favor

Me:[12:32 AM]: we as a society are nt prepared o accept this

Eshita : : nahi PDA mat karo plzzzzzzzzzz… meri gauri behna ki izzat se mat khelo….

Me:[12:33 AM]: nahi humne ghar pe hi foto le ke

Me:[12:33 AM]: orkut oe publish kiya tha

Me:[12:34 AM]: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7866478.stm

Eshita : : ye kya hai?

Me:[12:34 AM]: padho

Eshita : : bata do na…

Me:[12:35 AM]: public kissing by married couple

Me:[12:35 AM]: is not act of obscenity

Me:[12:36 AM]: and cann t be reason to hold them

Gaurav: [12:36 AM]:

Eshita : : by MARRIED COUPLE!

Gaurav:kitna bolte ho yaar tum dono

Eshita : : that a diff issue all tog

Me:[12:36 AM]: Just an affectionate light kiss is no big deal though many many Indians will not do so in public.

Me:[12:36 AM]: read the story

Eshita : : PDA by adults, not married is what we were talking i guess

Me:[12:37 AM]: it refers to tht case also

Eshita : : the married couple ruling came wen the majnu case happened…

Gaurav:bhai n behan log..

Eshita : : uske baad ek married couple ko b pakda gaya tha

Gaurav:jab iska faisla ho jaye to batana

Eshita : : then the ruling ws passed…

Me:[12:37 AM]: However just clinging on and long smooches as done in the west is certainly a no no

Me:[12:38 AM]: see act of obscenity in public is banned

Me:[12:38 AM]: that makes passerby feels bad

Me:[12:38 AM]: or watever

Eshita : : ya

Me:[12:39 AM]: so now

Me:[12:39 AM]: it become a social matter

Me:[12:39 AM]: rather than Legal

Eshita : : so even a guying peeing @ roadside is obsene hence it ws also raised that it shd be banned or fined..

Gaurav:hahhaha

Me:[12:39 AM]: now it depends on the society how much they can sustain

Me:[12:40 AM]: exactly

Eshita : : bt to have a definite social matter u need legal lines drawn clearly enough…

Me:[12:40 AM]: but that has got a complete social acceptance

Eshita : : *matter nahi order…

Me:[12:40 AM]: our law seems to be very fussy on this

Eshita : : no seeing one perspective, and saying its accepted socially is wrong

Eshita : : ask the gals who pass by…

Me:[12:41 AM]: but then there is no one who raised a voice so far

Me:[12:41 AM]: and moreover

Eshita : : who passing by, cant raise their eyes in fright of getting weird looks from other passers bys too…

Me:[12:42 AM]: even they also accept the same if its there guy

Eshita : : voices have been raiised

Eshita : : bt have not been heard…

Me:[12:42 AM]: agn as u said

Eshita : : in delhi atleast there has been a lot of discussion on ths..bt nothing fruitful is ever done

Eshita : : thanks to the male chauvanist pigs @ center / state politics…

Me:[12:43 AM]:”who passing by, cant raise their eyes in fright of getting weird looks from other passers by”   it means society already accepted that fact as not obscene that y You are frightened to raise a voice

Me:[12:43 AM]: Yea i completly agree with u

Eshita : : and hence there is an NGO in delhi, that sticks posters and paints the walls of places with God figurines…

Me:[12:44 AM]:for bein a Male Chauvanist society

Eshita : : to prevent the same

Me:[12:44 AM]: Now in the same way if a couple kissing on road side

Eshita : : no frightened to raise a vooice I am not…neither is anyone else, bt the abuse…i presume u hv never walked with a gal…

Eshita : : never dropped any gal home etc…

Me:[12:45 AM]: u can very well go n raise the alarm as u very well know we are living in a Love less society that wants a complete denial of Love in any form

Me:[12:45 AM]: and u know People around u support u in that

Eshita : : u r living in denial of the facts..thats it….

Eshita : : its not a denial of love…

Eshita : : its just that in India we wanna keep our kids away from the 3 letter S word..

Me:[12:46 AM]: i think u r getting it wrong

Eshita : : and hence try and become so overprotective…

Eshita : : u got it wrong…

Me:[12:47 AM]: thts wat m i saying ma’am

Me:[12:47 AM]: i fully agree with u

Me:[12:47 AM]: i’m supporting u so far

Me:[12:47 AM]: if u read it all once again plz

Me:[12:48 AM]: exactly m sayin the same

Me:[12:49 AM]: we r living in a country

Eshita : : aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Eshita : : ab poora kaun padhega

Eshita : :

Me:[12:49 AM]: which is havin so Tabboo about this 3 letter S word

Eshita : :

Me:[12:50 AM]: that we accept pissing in public but not kissing

[12:53 AM]:

Eshita : : oooh…

Eshita : : ya…true…

Me:[12:53 AM]: wat true?

Eshita : : the last line

Eshita : : its true

Eshita : : 100%

Me:[12:57 AM]: yea i knw u lv tht

Eshita : : ya i did

Eshita : : grt thought

Me:[12:58 AM]:haan thoda rhyming sa hai

Me:[12:58 AM]: marketing wali line

Eshita : : wll remember this…

Me:[12:58 AM]: Punch line sort of

Me:[12:59 AM]: yea so u can use tht in ur next discussion

Eshita : :

Eshita : : hmmmmmm…

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Author’s Commentary: For the issue of pissing on road, I do understand the fact that in India where almost over 50% population still depend on the Natural resources for their Natural Needs, Its not at all possible to declare it offensive neither legally nor socially it would be acceptable but at the same time I’m very well convinced we can do it at some extent in urban India. Well for openness for love I’m again convinced that we are living in society having complete denial of Love. And that is all together another big issue not only nation-wide but world-wide.

Eshita Commentary: Well, there is a law against PDA and I know that there is! It was amended to exempt married couples after a couple was harassed by police one night, soon after operation Majnu. Now about the pissing part. Once my ideal, Dr. Kiran Bedi said that pissing is a nuisance but then u don’t see a lady/a girl sitting along roadside pissing. She added that it’s because girls from the very beginning of their lives are inculcated restraint and taught to accept. According to me, a gal who has travelled to and fro the busiest of places in NCR and seen most beautiful to the most deadly parts of Delhi, I know the pissing act is a way used by men high or low, rich or poor to show off that they are men. To assert a sense of dominance that look we are men, we have a right to everything, even roads!!! I have had personal experiences, of which you need not feel amused abt, using the pretext of nature’s call men try and scrape off all threads of dignity of girls passing by. If you try giving them bad looks, they smile wickedly, raise an eye brow, wink or mouth provoking words.

Men!!!! All kinds…such kinds that you want to pull them off and castrate there and then, when you have no one on your side. Police won’t move –‘men you see’… your friends would pass it ignoring – ‘kya panga lena yaar, udhar mat dekh; chal…’ and the enjoying fellow passers will turn their faces away as if they saw nothing…The result??? Well the result is that there are thousands of girls being teased in the country using this pissing shit.

Moving ahead and slapping is not easy Varun. You need guts, an urge to fight down and even more than that you need a backup! Society accepts it, coz in time it has learnt to turn a back to it or is just too busy to bother. And for the roadside pissing men, well they forget the same pavement is going to home someone at night. They release and walk away, without responsibility without guilt.

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* You can also See her view and conclusion for the same discussion on her blog here…

Hope you have got the point, I did not stress on any of the issue but I kept it open for all of you to think.

Disclailmer: Before publishing the post I have acquired all the NOCs from al the concerned people.